This is my life!

This is my life so i have the say!

Gonna smile because of myself, not because of someone else.
Gonna be satisfied because i did something for myself.
Gonna be contented because i helped myself grow up.

Gonna motivate myself and learn things by myself.
Gonna grow on my own and shine through all.

I do have the right to decide what i want and who i am.
I am not a puppy following anymore.
Not a puppet you can manipulate anymore.

Don't try to calm me with your sweet words.
Don't try to fool me with your silly acts.

Don't say you care when you act like don't.
Don't cheat if you are a real hero.

Gonna grow stronger inside.
Gonna gain more ability and wisdom.
Gonna be good to myself after all.

Sorry i don't give a shit about your junk.
I only care for people who care for me.

Growing Up

At the age of 23, what do i understand about growing up?

Been came across with different different people in my life. Some do inspire me a lot.

Some people make me wonder, some hurt and some leave impacts.

By observing these people helps me thinking actually. I love watching people doing stuff. Erm... sounds kinda bossy. But nah, i am not bossy. It's just that i always observe and learn from them. It feeds my soul and thought when things people do or the way people response or acts teach me something.

I always admire those strong people who are well organized and can always handle their emotion well. I really inspired by people who know what they need and turn every of their moment into something extraordinary, something lively and meaningful. That's the beauty of the wise's life which i think should happen to people who are grown up and mature enough.

For me, i wonder when i can reach that level where i know myself well enough and get everything under control. Growing up ain't easy. Indeed, it's a choice of each individual. Each one of us should be responsible to our life journey and we decide when we gonna grow up.

Growing up is a continuous process, just like riding bicycle up the hill. You got to keep on paddling or else it stop or fall. And it requires strength and motivation to continue. You got to preserver. It's either moving forward or sliding backward. When the slope is steeper, you need to paddle harder. Just like when you aim for better, you strive harder. 

At my age, maturity in mind is something that matter. I cannot just forsake or simply give up, responsibility should be in my senses now. Be responsible to myself and people around. I cannot just fool around everyday. Instead, each day starts with planning and self-motivation.This is when self-esteem comes into the way, I can be where I want to be. I state my own value. 

Learn to care for others is another thing to practice. When we able to think for others and think from different perspective, there is a level of maturity. Being willing to do more is one of the process of growing. Besides growing in maturity, growing in faith is also necessary. 

Not only being able to do or plan, but being able to believe and love. That's more important i think cause it is what that keep us going.

And through all these journey, there are many people to thank to which inspire me to grow, make me wanting to grow. These people are beautiful. ♥

I love you still~

Despise of all the things happened, despise of all the mistake and tears,
our love never die down.

It's been 8 years plus since then, amazing, isn't it?

Still, you mean a lot to me and i love you still~

God transforms our life.

What you think affect what you feel, what you feel affect what you do, what you do decide what you get. The core is always important. Every change should start from the root.

Feeding the soul is important, when the innermost is right, other things will be right. What we do is just the outermost thing. We can continue for a while and feel tired of doing it. Only if we get our heart right, everything else will follow.

Quiet time is very important for Christians, bible reading, prayers and the relationship with God sustain our inner most part which is the engine of our life. Having relation with God gives us wisdom and strength. It makes sure our minds don’t get astray thus we can function in a sensible way.

We should be thankful that from Him we get our direction, we are not alone after all. No matter how lacking is a man, he will never lack of God’s love and guidance. He will see to it when he asks. All we need to do is just ask, God is always with us.

What a shame if we don’t know how blessed we are that we can always rely on Him. He is always beyond our thought. No love is bigger than His.

Action is more important than words.

Emotional is the biggest killer to the growing of wisdom. Maturity can be indicates by how one can handle the emotional. When you grow older, things may get harder, responsibilities and burden may increase from time to time. Are you mature enough to handle it? Are you capable to put your priority right? Wasting time is just same as wasting life. Dwelling in bad emotional is just the same.

It’s not really a big deal when you make mistakes, but it is a big problem when you cannot get over it and continue to walking in a circle. Things will not get better. You can’t get different result if you doing things the same old way. Just like baking a cake, you can’t get blueberry cake by not adding blueberries to the ingredients.

When you reach certain age, make sure the way you see and handle things reach the certain level. It’s kinda sad when you don’t grow in your mind when you grow in your days. When you are old enough, emotional dramas should stop. Use your time wisely on things you should focus.

People learn and grow each and every day. You have the responsibility to make sure you learn something every day. No one should stop and wait for you. People actually learn fastest their own. Everyone struggle in their journeys. Don’t let yours take you down. Know that life is going on, so don’t waste too much time being sad or de-motivated.

Get up and dress up, you got pile of things to do rather than sitting alone wondering why. Why is not important, more matters is how you gonna solve the problem. Making mistake should make you stronger not dragging you backward. Get over it. Life is still good.

You may ask how to change, it’s easy. Just start to do it now! Get your things done. Stop thinking too much and just do!

God is great all the time!

God is the only provider and healer!

He will heal me, emotionally, mentally and physically!

I will learn to rely on Him and be strong!

'For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.'

~2 Timothy 1:7~

It's my birthday~

Finally i am 23 now~

I had a mix feeling today, sad and happy together~

Anyway, this is my day so i will not drown in the stream of emotional.

Happy Birthday to me!

I wish that i can love myself more.

I wish that i can have more confidence.

I wish that i can love the people around me more.

I wish that i can make full use of my life time.

I wish that i can be loved wholeheartedly by the one i love.

I wish i can spend the rest of my life with the guy i love the most.

I wish that i can stay happy with people i care.

I wish that i can grow in my spirit.

I wish that i can have a wonderful life ahead.

Not gonna fall in the unhappy past, but grow with the bright future! ♥

Birthday is time to be happy and count blessings!